His Gaze of Mercy: Journal of my spiritual journey

          I have always been struggling with being myself. Because I do not fit in, like a lot. If you know me, I am an introvert, highly sensitive and easily emotional. I cannot handle a lot of information at the same time, I need a lot of alone time, I struggle with multiple people gathering and I rather talk to my dog. But I am not anti-social, I like socialising but I just need gaps in between.      I often cry because people cannot understand me. I often being sad because I care too much and it is harder for me to move on, like a lot. Until the day I finally met my first spiritual director (Fr. Jack of course!), he told me that: "No one on this earth is going to (or have the ability to)  understand you, Jessica, what you long for is something deeper and beyond this finite life. Only Jesus can understand you deeply, in a way that satisfies your longing. Only the one who has carried the cross of the world can walk with you." When I heard this for the first time, I was sadd

  Picture not owned by the author. 1. Using social media has affected my mental health  Other people's opinion without proper reasoning is posted everywhere and I have found that every time I finished scrolling my timeline, I became less hopeful and more worrying. And that addictiveness just makes me feel like a slave.  2. It has been a nurturing bed of conspiracy theory  Not all information is true and it is just too much of people's opinion which I do not think I need that in my life. People share stuff without thinking twice and people's opinions have been more and more extreme in recent years. It is scary, I cannot change the world but I can do something to not letting it affect my life.  3. It makes me seeking attention in the wrong direction  Unintentionally, I may want to know how much people care for my post and is there any comment on my post. What I am trying to achieve is to seek the attention of people from the wrong path. The only attention that I need is from