The connection between being a highly sensitive person and being the Beloved daughter of God the Father

   

     I have always been struggling with being myself. Because I do not fit in, like a lot. If you know me, I am an introvert, highly sensitive and easily emotional. I cannot handle a lot of information at the same time, I need a lot of alone time, I struggle with multiple people gathering and I rather talk to my dog. But I am not anti-social, I like socialising but I just need gaps in between. 

    I often cry because people cannot understand me. I often being sad because I care too much and it is harder for me to move on, like a lot. Until the day I finally met my first spiritual director (Fr. Jack of course!), he told me that: "No one on this earth is going to (or have the ability to)  understand you, Jessica, what you long for is something deeper and beyond this finite life. Only Jesus can understand you deeply, in a way that satisfies your longing. Only the one who has carried the cross of the world can walk with you." When I heard this for the first time, I was saddened, but later I accepted the reality. I started this journey of being comfortable with myself and telling myself the truth. 

    The truth that being a highly sensitive person is a gift, we can easily understand and sympathised with others, although we often got hurt. But every time I was hurt by being vulnerable, I see the Sacred Heart of Jesus that is often rejected and set aside. 

    The truth is that at least Jesus know and every tear of mine was never wasted if I offer them up to God. 

    The truth is I am loved by my Father in Heaven (deeply and perfectly) although most people are very confused with my life choices. 

    The truth is that my past, my sins, my brokenness does not define me, my true identity is and will always be the beloved daughter of God the Father. And the most beautiful part is God uses my sensitivity to encounter Him and to know Him a little more. 

    I often think that Mother Mary must be a sensitive woman too! Her yes to Angel Gabriel, in her daily prayer. She often ponders the will of God and everything that happened around Jesus. She was incredibly sad when Jesus was crucified although she may already know that He will be resurrected. She endured the suffering of Jesus, her Immaculate Heart is the same Heart as Jesus. I do not know what I am signing up for when I say this but, I want to be like her!

    Being sensitive is neither positive nor negative, it all depends on how we look at it. All of us are sensitive but on a different level and in different ways. God created us all different but with the same love and He willed that I like myself (I try hard). Sometimes, I thank God for my sensitivity but a lot of the time I complain and throw tantrum in front of God because of my sensitivity. I am still learning to being myself and being okay that people will never understand me. But, most of the time I like who I am. So, Thank you, Jesus. 

Pray for me. 

St. Joseph, pray for us. 

With prayer,

Jessica 

22/02/21 @CTK