His Gaze of Mercy: Journal of my spiritual journey

  致：所有和我一样受伤的人     那天，我去了告解，神父告诉我，我所告的罪， 可能和我从小所经历的一切有关。像是别人对于我的拒绝，那些该爱我而没有没有做到的人， 社会所灌输我的所有谎言，那些我不值得被爱的谎言，那些我不够好的谎言， 别人所告诉我所有不值得被爱的理由，那些失败的人际关系，所有各种各样扭曲的真理，不断地在我成长的过程中，充斥着我，告诉我如果我不做一些事情让我自己有价值，那我就不值得被爱。或是别人的罪而照成我的伤害。     听到这里，我忍不住了，就留下了眼泪，因为我明白他指的"那些事" 是什么。一件一件的，非常清楚，非常痛，非常恶心。     他问我："你知道 你是善的吗？而且是非常善 (very good) 你的好不是因为你做了什么，而是因为天父是谁，他是爱，他只能爱。你的价值，你的定义是在于天父对于你的爱，其他的都太过肤浅，你的价值是天主最挚爱的女儿."     他告诉我：“这些事情所造成的伤口，在天主的帮助下是可以复原的，你的价值并不取决于你的罪，你的伤口，你的经历。” “ 可是这一切是需要时间来治愈的。你对於自己要温柔，允许自己的难过，允许自己奔溃，最重要的是抱有希望，不要放弃。”   “你要每天提醒自己哪些是是社会告诉你的谎言，那些事是真理，每天在镜子里告诉自己你是善良的，美丽的。”     ”祈祷。祈祷天主圣神帮助你，帮助你治愈，帮助你保持喜乐，那种就算经历着痛苦也能做到的喜乐。” 我的感想     我发现承认自己的破碎是一件极困难的事，很痛 而也是允许自己开始拥有真理的开始。     当我开始提醒着自己，我的伤口，或许也能慢慢理解别人对於我的伤害。因为每一个人都有着自己的伤口，大大小小的，而大部分的人包括我自己，都没有花时间，允许自己复原，允许自己软弱。而我们跟随着社会洗脑我们的谎言，假装我们很好，我们没事，假装我们很快乐，假装我们很满足。然后把这些破碎都埋在心中，越深越好，像一颗随时会爆炸的炸弹。     这或许就是为什么很多人从天主的救援转移到 毒品，酒精，性，物质上的满足 来填满那些伤口所造成的空缺。     我非常清楚这不是一个 “他们” 的事 而是一件 “我们” 的事。说白点，不要写的好像addiction 是别人的事，我也有我自己的addiction. 只是那些我用来填补我心里空缺的方

  （Photo not owned by the Author) 聖奧思定又 說 ，天主曾經在聖詠 裡 教導我們如何讚美祂， 不 是因為祂要從這 些讚美中獲取些 什 麼，而是因為這樣可以使我們獲益。以聖詠的詩 句 讚美天主， 可以使我們 更了 解祂，而 更了 解祂可以使我們 更 愛祂。 更 愛祂則可以使我們能在 祂內找到幸福。「 因此，因為祂知道，這對我們有益，所以在讚美天主中，祂使 我們覺得祂 更 可愛。 」「天主要人愛祂 不 是因為祂要從中獲 利 ，而是因為這樣， 愛祂的人就可以獲得永遠的賞報。這賞報就是天主自己，就是他們所愛的那一 位。」   因此，聖奧思定的結 論 是：我們永生的讚美應該從今生、從這個 時候就開始 了 。我們現世所有的思想、一 切 的默想都應以讚美天主作為中心，「因為我們將 來 的生命、永恆的狂歡都將是讚美天主。任何人如果沒有在這一生好好 練 習讚美 天主，他將 不 配接受這種 來 世的生命。」所以奧思定這樣祈求「 不 要讓我的任何 一天，在我還未讚美祢之前消失。 」   -         - 時 辰禮 儀 潘家駿神父

          Liturgy of the hour (LOTH) or the Divine Office is a set of prayer that is prayed by the Catholic Church including both the west and the east*. It is compulsory for clergy and religious to pray the Divine Office every day.       The Divine Office is divided into 7 part to be prayed throughout the day. The different religious status will have a different degree of praying the Divine Office. For example, A catholic priest is obligated to pray for all 7 parts of it while a religious sister is only obligated to pray 3 parts (Morning, Evening and Night prayer) out of the 7 parts. The 7 parts of the Divine Office marks the hour of the day and sanctifying the day with prayers.       The Divine Office mainly composed from the book of the psalm, hymns and other books in the bible. Although laity is not obligated to pray, the Catholic church encourages laity to do so, at least the main part of the prayers, which is Morning and Evening prayer. CCC 1174  This celebration (Liturgy of the

            I started praying the Liturgy of the Hour (LOTH) or the Divine office from March this year during the lockdown as a layperson. I would not say that I prayed it perfectly I am still learning at this stage. What I would like to share in this blog are the reasons that I started praying it. Before that, I would give an informal introduction to LOTH.  Five REASONS I pray Liturgy of the Hour as a laity. To pray unceasingly  In the letter to the Thessalonians, St Pauls ask Christians to stay joyful and pray unceasingly. I think that is what the LOTH has already achieved. Most of the psalms in LOTH composed of praising God and giving Him thanks. By praying a few times in a day, I tend to stay closer with the Lord by remembering that He walks with me in each hour of my life. Praying the Divine Office also reminded me that I pray to live not the other way round. Our works and deeds should be rooted in our prayers. The Sanctification of each day  In Morning prayer, we offer

1. Participate in daily Mass as often as possible Receiving Communion more often provide strength for spiritual battle 2. Daily silent prayer 15 minutes (If possible, with the presence of the Blessed Sacrament)  3. Holy Hour (if possible daily) 4. Daily Rosary  5. Morning and Night Prayer     - In my own words and any memorised prayers / Divine Office  6.  Weekly Confession (if not, fortnightly; if not monthly) 7. Evening Prayers (Divine Office)  8. Spiritual Reading 10 minutes (Word of God / Other spiritual reading)  If priests and church are not accessible  1. Daily Silent Prayer. (At least 15 minutes)  2. Morning Prayer and Night Prayer  3. Rosary  4. Evening Prayer  Other (Optional) 1. Spiritual Journaling  Write anything you want! It can be gratitude journaling, Any inspiration from Holy Spirit or Examination of Conscience  2. Spiritual Direction from a priest or religious regularly.  Tips You may not want to commit everything at once and if something seems too much just do part o

  Blessed are you, holy Virgin Mary, and most worthy of all praise, for the sun of justice, Christ our God, was born of you. - Gospel Acclamation Mass today. 8/9/2020 Today, a baby girl was born, born without sin, God has chosen her to be the mother of His beloved Son, Jesus Christ, a heart that is pure, a life dedicated to the work of God. - Deacon Albert Homily. Happy Birthday, Mother Mary! We love you too, protect us always. Teach us to love your Son. Amen.

 Hi, My name is Jessica and I never imagine myself writing and posting it online for everyone else to see. My purpose in doing this is to find some time to organise and write down any spiritual inspiration that I have in my mind. It is more about recording my thought and the growth of my spiritual journey. And I think the Holy Spirit prompted me to do this a few months ago, I am slow in responding (as usual). I do not have any plan in my mind at this point so let see what God would lead me into by doing this.  I hope I would update this blog at least once a month, no matter how short I wrote.  A few disclaimers to make: 1. I am not a theologian, all my writing is more of a sharing of thought, do not expect to be academically accurate. 2. English is not my native language, do not expect my writing to be great and I may write in Mandarin if I feel like.  Thanks for reading this, whoever you are and wherever you come from, God bless. Jess 7/9/2020 @ Plymouth, England (CTK)